Things You Don't Want to Hear in Surgery

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1. Better save that. We'll need it for the autopsy.

2. Somebody call the janitor. We're going to need a mop

3. Accept this sacrifice, O Great Lord of Darkness.

4. Sparky! Comeback with that! Bad Dog!

5. Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what's that?

6. Hand me that...uh...that uh.....thingie.

7. Oh no, I just lost my Rolex!

8. Oops! Hey, has anyone ever survived a full hypo of this stuff before?

9. Everybody stand back! I lost my contact lens!

10. Could you stop that thing from beating; it's throwing my concentration off.

11. What's this doing here?

12. I hate it when they're missing stuff in here.

13. That's cool! Now can you make his leg twitch?

14. I wish I hadn't forgotten my glasses.

15. Well folks, this will be an experiment for all of us.

16. Sterile, shcmeril. The floor's clean, right?

17. Anyone see where I left that scalpel?

18. Next, we remove the subject's brain and place it in the body of the ape.

19. Now take a picture from this angle. This is truly a freak of nature.

20. This patient has already had some kids, am I correct?

21. Nurse, did this patient sign the organ donation card?

22. Don't worry. I think it is sharp enough.

23. What do you mean you want a divorce?

24. She's gonna blow! Everyone take cover!

25. FIRE! FIRE! Everybody get out!

26. Pssst! C'mon and watch. Pooh's going to goose the surgeon!

27. And next week, we'll be learning how to stitch up a patient...

28. Your name is Rainy What, and you want to do what to the patient?

29. Hello, I'm Dr. Squiffy.

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This page contains a single entry by Nicely Malicious published on October 31, 2006 2:01 PM.

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