His & Hers Road Trips

HERS:

1. Pulls off at wrong exit
2. Opens window
3. Asks directions of a knowledgeable police officer
4. Arrives at destination promptly.

HIS:

1. Pulls off at wrong exit absolutely positive it's the correct one
2. Drives five miles into wilderness, still thinks he's right
3. Drives an extra 5 miles just in case
4. Finally rolls down window
5. Hocks a loogie
6. Pulls up to a 7-11
7. Gets three hot dogs, a large Slurpee, and beef jerky
8. Asks person behind counter how to get back onto the highway
9. Gets back into car
10. Farts
11. After he closes the door
12. Laughs at the idea of looking at a map as he pulls away from the 7-11
13. Drives down a dirt road with no street lights insisting this is the way back because guy from 7-11 said it was
14. Almost hits a deer
15. Curses the night
16. Curses you
17. Curses the large Slurpee
18. Stops by the side of the road
19. Takes a leak
20. Still taking a leak
21. Almost done
22. I think
23. Returns to car
24. Drives and fiddles with radio
25. Yells at you for suggesting the map again
26. Admits he didn't want to go to Thanksgiving at your sister's anyway
27. He hates your sister
28. Ever since she called him a pernicious weasel
29. He had to look up pernicious
30. Couldn't find a dictionary
31. Finally found a dictionary
32. Couldn't spell pernicious
33. Seethes at the memory of it all
34. But she is laughing inside
35. And of course you're still lost.