One-Liners (Men & Women)

All men are idiots, and I married their King.
Beam me up Scotty, there are no virgins left.
Grow your own dope: Plant a man.
Happiness is seeing your mother-in-law's face... on the back of a milk carton.
How can I miss you if you won't go away?
How does AVON find so many women willing to take orders?
Kids in the back seat cause accidents; accidents in the back seat cause kids.
Lead me not into temptation, I can find it myself.
Learn from your parents' mistakes - use birth control.
Life is sexually transmitted.
Life is too short to date ugly men.
Love: two vowels, two consonants, two fools.
Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
Missing: Husband And Dog - $100.00 Reward For Dog
My wife says if I go fishing one more time,she's going to leave me. Gosh, I'm going to miss her.
Sex on television can't hurt you unless you fall off.
Smile, it's the second best thing you can do with your lips.
Snatch a kiss, or vice versa.
So you're a feminist... Isn't that cute!
Sorry, I don't date outside my species.
There's one in every crowd, and he always finds me.
To all you virgins, thanks for nothing.
Two can live as cheaply as one... for half as long.
WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.
What am I? Flypaper for freaks?
When you're in love, you're at the mercy of a stranger.
Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition.

0 TrackBacks