Arachnoleptic fit - n. The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
Beelzebug - n. Satan in the form of a mosquito, fly or gnat that gets into your bedroom at 3 in the morning and cannot be cast out.
Bozone - n. The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
Cashtration - n. The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.
Caterpallor - n. The colour you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you're eating.
Decaflon - n. The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
Dopelar effect - n. The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when you come at them rapidly.
Extraterrestaurant - n. An eating place where you feel you've been abducted and experimented upon. Also known as an ET-ry.
Grantartica - n. The cold, isolated place where art companies dwell without funding.
Hemaglobe - n. The bloody state of the world.
Intaxication - n. Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realise it was your money to start with.
Kinstirpation - n. A painful inability to move relatives who come to visit.
Lullabuoy - n. An idea that keeps floating into your head and prevents you from drifting off to sleep.
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