What Girls Say v. What They Mean

Said: Can't we just be friends?
Meant: There is no way in hell I am going to let any part of your body touch any part of mine, again.

Said: I just need some space...
Meant: ...without you in it.

Said: Do I look fat in this dress?
Meant: We haven't had a fight in a while.

Said: No, pizza's fine.
Meant: Cheap bastard.

Said: I just don't want a boyfriend now.
Meant: I just don't want you as a boyfriend now.

Said: Come here.
Meant: My puppy does this too.

Said: I like you, but...
Meant: I don't like you.

Said: You never listen.
Meant: You never listen.

Said: We're moving too fast.
Meant: I am not sleeping with you until I find out if this guy in billing has a girlfriend.

Said: I'll be ready in a minute.
Meant: I am ready, but I am going to make you wait because I know you will.

Said: I'm just going out with the girls.
Meant: We are gonna get sloppy and make fun of you and your friends.

Said: There's no one else.
Meant: I'm doing your brother.

Said: Size doesn't matter.
Meant: Unless I want an orgasm.